When I was a little girl and I could see the energy waves around someone’s body, I would go touch it. More often than not the person would grab my little hand and stop me. It was very discouraging. They had no idea what I saw and I had no idea that they couldn’t see. Seeing energy has been a consistent high and a low in my life. Although it is now becoming fashionable to be able to see auras and the energy system but back in the 70’s/80’s and heck even the 90’s - it was weird and considered to be wicked. At times I thought maybe I was wicked. Or at least I could be if I choose to as I could see things others didn’t.
One of my first lessons in learning not everyone could see what I saw was in my first grade class at Holy Innocents in Neptune, NJ. This was a catholic elementary school but my reality came as Sister Veronica was giving an instruction on the Blessed Mother, Mary. She had taken a portrait of Mary off the wall in the hallway and brought it into class with her. She held the frame on the desk as she stood next to it talking about Mary. She spoke about how she was the chosen one to give birth to god’s son, how she was blessed as the mother of Jesus Christ. I can see the portrait still today, it was a lovely painting with Mary in a light blue gown, she held a baby in her lap that was to be her baby Jesus. She was very young looking and her face was so beautiful. Like an angel.
Then Sister Veronica started to talk about the ring around Mary’s head. She said that Mary had this because she was special, that her “Halo” was symbol of her greatness and her divine soul. I can vividly remember raising my hand and having half my butt out of my seat in such excitement! Finally! Finally! Someone was speaking about something I knew about! I was delighted. I get this! I see this! Sister Veronica had a unhappiness about her and her physical appearance did not seem to help her unpleasantness. She was what looked like to be ten feet tall to me at the age of 7. But realistically she was probably about 5’8”ish. She had black hair that scooped to the sides under her habit. The habit was black and draped to the floor. Around her head was a tiny piece of white paper that then was attached to the covering on the back of the head that was black. So from a distance as they (all the nuns there) walked down the halls it actually could resemble a halo.
Anyway back to my excitement! I was so delighted I wanted to share. Sister Veronica called on me as I was jumping out of my seat and with that I said; “We are all special, we all have that halo”. I do not recall what Sister Veronica said to me. But I do remember a massive sense of criticism. I remember being yelled at and told that no one was as special as Mary and only Mary and Saints have halos. She also let me know that I should not be able to see that on anyone or anything except in art. Then she instructed me to stand in the corner of the room for the rest of class.
The energy system has always been a staple in my life whether I wanted it to be or not. Some good, some bad, some scary as hell and some so amazingly beautiful. Finding the pathway alone with these skills was extremely challenging and painful. There were times of great loneliness and fear. Not being able to share what you saw made me quiet and isolated. There were mostly times that I felt unheard and not listened to, so why should I share. Even when I attended for my graduate degree in 2003-2005 in Holistic Health at Georgian Court University, I was in in my 30’s some of the grown women I was studying with could not relate to the experiences that I had had. They would roll their eyes in disbelief. And the guru head of the department I think feared I could see and know more then her so she was belittling to me. These were people studying health, wellness and spirituality at a graduate level! The disbelief will always continue but I am gladly moving through the incomprehension of others.
After a lifetime of seeing & knowing, practicing, studying, degrees and multiple certifications being continually led to work with these energies is following my path. So when people ask me what I do now I say; what I was always meant to do - I shift energy for people. Everyday I find an amazing elation of peace in that notion. It is true that I have a strong belief that; "it is the soul that is the most powerful aspect of the mind, body & soul as a trinity. It is our highest power - it is most prevalent in healing the body and mind. It is where wellness is achieved. This is why Blossoming Soul Therapies exists because it is true that if you have blossoming soul, you will have a healing body and you can purify your mind.
Gratefully - I saw meridian strings as a child and always wanted to play with them. Now people pay me to palpate their aura's; to attune their chakras, to align their meridians and speak a truth to them. My favorite part is that I receive feedback from clients saying that movement and positiveness has come into their lives since their sessions. The benefits for them have been career; financial, enhanced physical and mental health, clarity in their future; a strengthening in their fortitude and a sense of knowing themselves, specifically - knowing their souls. A client in March of this year thanked me for having her “consider” her soul, something she had never done before. Yes! My happiest and strongest moments are in considering my soul - And everyone's should be! I hold my head in pride of what I do because the response is not in whether or not I can prove it to you or if you believe me - it is in the growth of the soul that I am blessed to work with and for that I am filled with abundance of gratification that I can see and feel what others can’t.
Happiness to you and yours, Denise
On January 9th of this year I started attending spin classes. Spin is not new to me. I spun 20 years ago. I first started to spin in between my 2nd and 3rd births. I absolutely loved it. I loved it so much that when the gym I was spinning at closed its doors 4 years later I bought one of the bikes. I would spin in the basement when my daughters were sleeping, I ran in the morning or did another form of workout as well but I loved spinning! It made me strong and vibrant.
Then around the time my youngest was 5 years old we were watching a movie with my mother. She had chosen it and loved it, “Home for the Holidays”. A fantastic movie that is about young adults returning home and it is so funny. But one scene in the movie disturbed me. After a family uproar the oldest sister goes to her younger sister’s home who is a mother. The sister who is married with three children is down in the basement on her treadmill sweating out her overwhelming life. She was so intense on the treadmill, overworked and so snappy and miserable. My breath was taken away as that image was me. That scene made me realize that I was missing out on relaxing and being one with my children. I was missing the pleasures of being a mom. Being calm and watching them grow slow. I stopped spinning.
Fast forward to 6 years ago, my youngest was now 13. I began spinning again as well as did (and won) a circuit training challenge. I felt strong again and had some intensity in my body again. I would go to spin classes in the same town my mother lived in. I would go to spin and then spend time with my mother. Sometimes spending 15 minutes with her, sometimes two hours. Within that year my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. So then I was visiting her almost every time I would go to spin 2 or 3 times a week at least. One year to the day of my mother’s diagnoses, she passed. I continued to go to spin. But I would cry after every class. I felt so empty and depleted after every class. And the instructor at the end of every class would say; “Remember somebody out there loves you”. It crushed me. So I stopped spinning, again.
Now four and a half years later, my youngest is 19, and a Tandem Cycle opened in Long Branch a stone’s throw from my home. I was extremely delighted and wanted to give it another shot. I waited until after the holidays and kids were back at college, etc...then I went to spin again. It was so physically hard this time around at 51. I felt like I was climbing a mountain everyday. I was worried every day on my walk to a class that I would be thinking about my mother, family stress of her passing and circumstances beyond my control. I kept my head up and pushed through with each spin. I didn’t talk to too many people at Tandem, because it was personal why I was there. It was my own personal mountain to climb, but I had a silent tribe within them. At first I was afraid that the instructors would ask me something, but they didn’t and they never have, gratefully. I was afraid if they had I would just break down and cry. By the end of my first month I was hooked. Now going 4 to 5 times a week. I would walk out of the door by 6 weeks and look at the sign and think; “Did my mother put this place here for me?”; I’d actually would hear her laugh out loud and giggle; “Of course not”. By the second month I was attending 5 to 6 classes a week. Everyday I would state out loud; “I will move through this; I will not stop spinning again.”
Mourning a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. After my mother passed I have done a lot of healing work on myself and our relationship. She was the only foundation I ever truly had. There are so many phases to grieving a mother. Some circumstances more challenging than others. I was deprived of being with my mother’s belongings; my grandmother’s belongings; my baby pictures, my children’s baby pictures; the items that were personal to my mother; my family home and sanctuary (lake house) and I still am deprived of those things. It was as if she was entirely wiped away from me, my husband and our daughters. It was and has been the most challenging truma of my life and I have had a big heavy load, definitely not the normal load (hopefully you’ll read the book one day).
Closure is peculiar. We can find it in many ways. But the struggle is continuing to find the path to closure and renewal. Continuing to manifest growth and change. My life is in the healing world, every day I help people heal and move through obstacles. My mother would always say during any challenge in my life, “Don’t worry Sister, this will pass, and something will replace it”. I hated when she’d say that, because why can’t it just not be replaced, why can’t things go good forever? Maybe she is right, maybe she is not, but one thing is for sure; I will never stop searching for a way out, for a new path or continue to climb the mountain. The only option is the way forward; movement is the only way out.
By the end of month three of spinning, I felt my soul body connection strong and healthy, in a way I had been missing since my mother’s passing. It is now four months. I am at the point that I need to slow down spin and do something in conjunction with spin; I can feel my body searching for a new growth. This Mother’s Day I feel strong, powerful in my soul body connection. I can feel my mother’s energy rise up within me in great abundance. I will continue to move through this experience of grieving my mother as I don’t think it ever truly ends but spinning brought that intensity back to me. The resistance in spinning is in the climb. Climbing that mountain of mourning with real force and I am delighted with the process that spinning has taken in my life, again as it has served many purposes. It help me stop and be a better mother when I needed to. I helped me spend more time with my mother during her last year of life. And finally it helped me reach out of a traumatic experience.
And Tandem Cycle, Long Branch is the real deal. I have been to many gyms, in fact was a trainer and instructor when I was in my early 20’s. I’ve seen a lot of bullshit thrown around in gyms, yoga studios and health centers. Tandem is exactly what they say they are; “We ride in tandem, We ride together”. You don’t need to know the person next to you. You don’t need to share your life with them. You just ride with them. You can feel their energy, their souls but don’t need to know their stories.
The instructors are out the box fantastic! They all offer you a different ride. For four instructors whose class I attend the most, I have an element associated with each of their ride types. Nelson (Earth Ride) makes me feel so physically strong there is a grounding foundation to his ride like the strength of the earth; AK (Fire Ride) is a bad ass wild woman who I’d love to dance in ritual with; Eric (Water Ride) is the most amazing joy rider - I feel so frickin happy after his class - happy with life... happy with the universe, tons of fluidity in his ride; MaryClare (MC) (Air Ride) is my structured ride with grace and regel, I feel organized and prepared for life after her class. I am blessed they moved next door to me even if it was by chance. I have taken a personal ride with them and they didn’t know it - actually they didn’t need to but I’m so happy they did!
I am so looking forward to my Mother’s Day Ride! I am hoping to feel and sense her spirit with me in strength, love and joy. I was blessed with many years of a Mother who was a Sister and my dearest Friend. She is still on this ride with me, she’s just taken a different form.